Homeless for a day.... Well 15 mins...and not claiming to be homeless

The job hunt has been rough out here in the Big Apple. I don’t have money to go out and do touristy things and what not, but I also don’t want to just sit and not take advantage of this amazing city. So, I thought I’d try an old past time of people down and out on their luck: Panhandling!  Yep, you heard me correctly, Panhandling, begging for money, call it what you will, but I thought I’d try it. I even looked up tips on How to panhandle I thought that this would be a interesting social experiment and give me a better look into the lives of people I see every day.  I had a nice piece of cardboard just laying their waiting to have a begging phrase written.  I wanted to keep things light.  I remembered when I was in Vegas once and I saw a guy with a sign that said, “ I won’t lie, its for beer”, or something like that.  I thought it was funny and honest.  He let me take a picture of him and I gave him a dollar.  So I wanted to be light hearted as well.  I wasn’t pretending to be homeless, I’m a bad liar, so I stuck to a believable truth. I also checked out a website for some ideas.(75 panhandling signs)  I wrote : “Struggling. Need an iphone, car, boyfriend.  I have a map if you need directions. Help”

Once the sign was written, I put it in a reusable bag I would tote around and keep my purse in and such and I was ready to go.  My hair is frizzier here (if you can believe it) so didn’t have to do much to that to show I was struggling.  I had a rip in my pants ( super mad cause they are Zella workout pants for Nordstrom), I had a hat for people to put money in, and my somewhat faded MTV shirt ( if you know me at all you’ve seen me wear it a thousand times.)

I went to Grand Central Station and started looking for “ my spot”, the golden spot where I would get the most traffic without getting ran over.  I looked for a church, but decided against it.  It seemed to be kind of a slow day in the touristy areas.  I went over to Times Square and saw the naked cowboy and decided to plop kinda by him.  There was a recycling bin and a phone booth next to the curb so I plopped down there.  I was hoping that there wasn’t going to be any stray taxis behind me to take me out on the curb.  Here we go, I’m going to sit her for the next hour. …(which really turned into 15 minutes, I’ll get to that later.)

I sat down, and immediately I was humiliated.  Why was everyone looking at me,” oh yeah, I ‘m sitting down on the gross ground and have a sign for them to read”.  This is so awkward.  I can look at people in the eye, so I’ll just stare at their shoes.  I don’t even know what I look like to them.  I get this really pathetic and tired look on my face to make it seem more real, which was how I felt so that wasn’t hard.  I can see people slowing down, and stopping to read my sign.  I get kind of excited when I few people use the recycling bin, thinking they’ll stop for me too, then I get nervous again.  Still looking at just peoples feet, I see one lady come over and drop 60cents on my sign.  I put it in my hat, I’m invigorated.  I’m on a roll, I’m so excited now.  This is what it feels like when people actually stop to give you money, I am flooded with gratitude.  Then a few minutes after that a nice looking business man comes over and gives me a fresh piece of pizza all nicely wrapped and in a white bag.  I say thank you and get a big smile on my face.  I take a peek at the pizza before sticking it in my reusable bag for later.  It looks great, untouched, totally edible.  There I go again, getting excited, its actually happening, I’m doing it, I’m panhandling successfully.  Then I get nervous again and go back to watching people feet come within inches of my face. 

A young man who works for a tourist company handing out flyers comes up to me.  He asks me where I’m from, and tells me how its not a good place to be on the street out here ( in NYC), he wishes me luck and walks away.  Then another scrawny young man comes up to me, probably about 19, and reads my sign ( for a long time by the way, it’s a short sign.).  He starts laughing, points at my sign and is like, I can kinda help you get those things.  He starts telling me about a café that is hiring up the street, and how he likes to help people in the same situation he’s in.  He also tells me I need God, not a boyfriend, and that God will put a boyfriend in my place.  I just told him I was trying to keep things light and what not.  He just laughs at me, gives me his recommendation, and shakes my hand goodbye.  The I see a lady with Time Square security gear on and I panic.  I look up at her and say, “do I need to leave?”.  She doesn’t answer my question but sticks a piece of paper in front of my face, at first I thought it was a ticket, but I hadn’t cause problems or anything so it couldn’t be that.  Then I thought it was a lottery ticket and was thinking, “Hell yeah”.  But it was a pamphlet about all the resources in the city that can help me.  If I need food, clothes, shelter, whatever someone’s  needs are. 

She asked me where I was from, how long I’d been here, etc. ( again I wasn’t lying about anything).  As I was talking to her, two policemen started to walk up, I looked at her with panic and she just shrugged.  They didn’t even look me in the eye or anything but said, “you gotta move”.  I just got up immediately.  The Security lady told me her name was Marguerite and wished me good luck.  Then I got the heck out of there, I hate the feeling of being in trouble. 

I walked a few blocks before I reminded myself to snap out of character, stop looking so sad, this is not your life.  After a few blocks, I knew that no one would recognize me as the panhandler on the street, so I pulled out my phone to check the time.  Holy crap, I was only sitting there for 15 minutes, and experienced so many emotions.

First of all, why didn’t I just move to a new spot until my hour was up?  Well, even though I was doing this with the sincerest of hearts and not trying to take advantage of anyone, as I really do need the money, I was afraid that someone would give change to me, and then when they went around the corner and saw someone else like me, they wouldn’t give.  I’d gotten what I needed from the experience and a bit more. 

I was humbled at the treatment I received from the people around me.  I was proud to be on this earth with them.  There are good people out there, and you literally cross pass with amazing people everyday.  Sometimes it just take staring at their shoes  as they walk by to notice them.  I was filled with gratitude.  I had never been so happy to receive 60 cents, or a slice of pizza from a stranger, or the attempt at a young man trying to give me advice.  I don’t think that it was the items that filled me with gratitude but what they represented.  They represented someone care for ME, in that moment.  They represented someone else taking time out of their busy lives to look up from their phone and notice the surrounding around them and find someone they could help.  They represented service and charity, knowing that they would never see me again and that I would never be able to give them anything back, and yet, they served me.  They represented children of God.  Without knowing it they were disciples of Jesus Christ and by helping me they were glorifying their God in Heaven.   Man was I grateful.

Does this mean that I’ll shell out money for every beggar on the street.  Probably not, although I did give someone the 60 cents that I was given.  But, I will look at them differently, as people just wanting to know that they are a child of God and that they are loved.  I don’t have money to give them, but I can wish them a nice day, or say a silent prayer for them. 

I was so thankful to finally get home and put my feet up.  I’m so thankful for my darling cousin/big sister Ali and her hunk of a Fiancé Lonny, for letting me have a beautiful place to sleep at night in this Big City, so that I am able to go out and have experiences like this.

As for that slice of pizza I was given by the business man.  YUMMY.  I devoured that thing.  I haven’t had any pizza since I’ve gotten here, and what a way to say I’ve had a great slice of a famous New York pie.  I just wish I knew where it came from, I didn’t survey the area after for pizza places, but I should have.  It was soooo yummy.

Signing off for now

Love all ya’ll

Lolo