Corporate Girl

Corporate Bathroom selfie ( super professional)

When I worked at Nordstrom, people always said that I was so “corporate” and that I was all business, and such a business girl.  I totally agreed with that statement and like it.  When I came here to NYC and got a temp job for Mutual of America for a few weeks, I was working with Vice Presidents and super important people, and I did great.  I would walk around and talk to people and felt like I fit in with my “corporateness” and was like, “ I got this”, look at me being all corporate in NYC, I can totally do this.  Screw working in the Medical Field, Corporate life is the life for me.

Wrong!

I mean, maybe wrong.  I’m not sure yet.  But I am sure that I’m not as “Corporate” as I thought.  I’m sure it’s in me somewhere, but when I’m playing with the big dogs, my “corporateness” definitely shrinks away.

Badges are so official, I love them, but kill me if I lose it

Big Dogs, Who are the Big Dogs?

Last week I walked into a temp agency, and it looked ghetto and I had already written it off and one of the recruiters said a job just came in.  She told me the pay, gave me the address, and told me to show up at it tomorrow morning.  So I did.  I showed up to 250 Greenwich St, otherwise known as 7 World Trade Center, whaaaaaat.  This company is overall the whole reformation of the WTC properties among a million more.  The building is gorgeous and so fancy.  I got my security and ID badge and when I swipe it to enter the building it calls the elevator for me.  The break room has a fancy machine with every kind of drink from cappuccino and espressos to hot cocoa, plus a bunch of other tea’s and ice coffees, I wish I drank coffee and that it didn’t stain my teeth or give me bad breath cause I love me free stuff.  Is also on Crains New York list of the top #100 business to work for in NYC, it ranked #30 last year, so that’s fancy. 

I work for 3 main guys, 2 unoffically, and 1 analyst. (every other Executive Assistant has one, MAYBE 2).  They’re pretty cute too, and then I realized that these young, rich and powerful guys scare me.  “Hotness is intimidating, especially when it’s wearing a suit.” That’s the quote that came to my head after stepping into my new office.  The guys are really nice, but still, they handle millions of dollars a day like its candy and I’m the one supposed to be in charge of scheduling their life, I don’t wanna screw that up, these are real business men.  I thought Mutual of America was corporate, but comparatively it is just baby corporate.

 There are lots of other great things about this temp assignment one being that my view is incredible.  It looks out upon a huge chunk of the city and is right next to One World Trade Center. They also have a cafeteria in the building and the food is pretty cheap so that helps save moola which is always the preferred route, I don’t even need to try and scrounge up a coupon if I eat there.  The location is awesome and pretty easy to get to, it’s only one Asian bus ride away, with no transferring at any other stops.

Office view, never gets old

But back to Big Dogs. Last Friday, I met THE Big Dog.  His name is Larry Silverstein ( google him) , and looks like Larry King, he is worth $3.5 BILLION,( That’s not intimidating) he shook my hand for a really longtime and wished me Happy New Year ( it was the New Year for my Jewish peeps).  

So what am I gonna do about the Big Dog Corporate World?  I dunno.  I have an interview on Friday with Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, so maybe I’ll get that job and scoot away from the corporate world, but on the other hand the corporate world pays waaay better than the medical and charitable world.  What to do? What to do?  I dunno, pray for me and we’ll see what happens.

Peace and Love from NYC

Quiet Clubbing

It gets real when things start glowing

What the heck is quiet clubbing you ask?  It’s super cool.  You show up at a venue that has plenty of dancing room, event locations are on the Quiet Events website. Check it out.  You’re issued a pair of headphones that light up different colors and you’re instructed how to use them.  There are 3 different DJ’s spinning from different music genres.  For example, if you like to dance to hip hop you would turn it to DJ #1 and your head phones would light up and stay red.  DJ #2 will bring the oldies back and light up blue, and DJ #3 will play today’s pop tunes and light up green.  So you’ll be dancing and grooving to some hip hop music and then all of a sudden some profane and slutty song comes on and instead of leaving the room, or dancing your way through it with a grudge on your face you can just change the channel on your headphones and switch to DJ #3 so you can groove to some Britney Spears or better yet SPICE GIRLS!  You can see who everyone else is listening to and go dance with strangers that have your same DJ light on OR you can stay with your circle of friends and dance together to different DJ’s at the same time.  Do you have a question you need to ask your friend and you suck at lip-reading?  Then just take your headphones off and ask them, the room is quiet and you don’t have music blasting in your ears as your trying to talk to or hit on someone.  It’s a quite clever idea, that proved to be oddly fun.  There was only one guy in the club who stood in the middle of the crowd who didn’t have headphones.  I don’t know what he was thinking.  As for me and my crew, we tore it up and were soooo sweaty and hot afterwards.  When we emerged from the club and had the rush of cool air hit us, we knew what was next on the nights itinerary.  McDonalds for some SOFT SERVE!

The Gals

The Belarusians

I  hate Time Square.  I hate trying to walk through it and being packed in like sardines and shuffling your way street to street.  But that’s where the 24 hour McDonalds was so we made our way over there.  To my pleasant surprise, Time Square was DELIGHTFUL.  At one o’clock in the morning, TS has a normal amount of people and you can actually see and enjoy the coolness that is TS around you.  So now I like time square….if its late a night, its AWESOME. 

Anywho, we make it to the happenin McDonalds to get our post dancing treat and there are throngs of people.  So were just chillin in line and this guy with an accent ( which is always hot) turns around and starts tryin to guess my name and where I’m from.  I can’t do this crazy guy justice.  Him and his friend were from Belarus and met in driving school when they came to NYC.  He was completely inappropriate and was cracking me up so I said, “ lets take a picture”, and he goes, “ of us kissing?”  Now the dryspell in me wanted to be like “ heck ya of us kissing”, I mean, this Belarusian was pretty cute.  So I told him he could kiss my cheek.  And boy did he do that.  I could feel his tongue moving around all over my cheek as he made out with it.  Then he said he was disgusting and wiped my cheek off. I was dying.  Later he was straddling me and one of my girlfriends yelled at him “ Hey, get off my friend”, but of course that only encourages him.  Now, she’s involved with this mess and he talking to all of us now.  I believe at one point he referred to having a 5 some.  My girl Chelsea was hilarious, everytime he would ask her her name she would just laugh and say “ you don’t need to know that information”, which just made him want it more. 

I was eating my ice cream and he kept telling me how sexy I eat it and that maybe I need to try out other things ( innuendo implied).    It was a funny, flattering, and interesting adventure in McD’s that night but we decided not to take those boys home with us.  So we left and went out into the chilly weather, which was only chilly because our sweat from da club had now turned into wet coldness on our bodies and wasn’t drying quickly.  Always a good adventure when your with Chelsea Kasen and Danielle Dobson.  More craziness and adventures with those chicas to come.

P.S. On a spiritual note, I love that I can have friends who have the same values as I do, that can talk about religion and live The Gospel, and that still know how to have a good time.  So grateful for all the good peeps in my life.  Ya’ll ROCK.

Quiet Clubbing Round Deux

Broadway Buddies

Since I’m here in NYC, I have to take advantage of one of the things it most famous for…It’s Broadway shows.  I hate doing touristy things, but this is one thing that I like to do, and of course its expensive.  So, first things first  ( I’m the realist, hehe) you gotta be looking for deals.  So I download numerous apps to keep me connected to deals, and of course the TKTS booth ( look it up), ticket lotteries, waiting list, etc.  I’ve found some good deals and so did my friend Thomas so we’ve been on a Musical kick.  I saw Jersey Boys, Book of Mormon the Musical by myself.  I got good tickets because one was a “ obstructed view”, which really didn’t affect anything, and the other was “limited leg room”, which since I’m short also didn’t affect  anything. 

Then together me and Thomas saw, Newsies, Bullets Over Broadway, Kinky Boots, and Caberet, and many more to come, well probably only a couple because there are not a lot left I want to see.

Thomas cracks me up  Whenever there are celebrities near, or if there is a limo around, he always shouts out a celebrity name.  He’ll get close to a limo and yell, “ Sarah, Sarah Jessica Parker, is that you?”, or randomly yell “Neil Patrick Harris”.  It always interesting to see peoples reaction.  We got a great one as we were standing outside the back of the show Alladin, the guy who plays the genie, thought it was hilarious, and then when we realized he heard we started laughing too.

Thomas also asked me if my purse was big enough to fit some treats  so we could sneak them into the theater for Bullets over Broadway.  I told him I’d bring a bigger bag, thinking that he would have like a candy bar or something small for me to shove in.  Oh no, I meet Thomas and he has a Duane Reade bag full of treats.  He has 2 fiji water bottles, a bag of Swedish fish, chocolate reisens, and CHEX MIX.  I was like, “ This isn’t a movie theater, we’re on the 11^th row, you can’t be smacking away!”.  He just laughs at me as he rearranges my purse taking out my wallet to make everything fit….it doesn’t but we make it work anyway.  Half way through he leans over and just says “ Chex Mix”.  I was nervous but he’s a pretty quiet cruncher and you couldn’t hear him as long as people were singing.  I’m pretty sure at one point people got annoyed with us, because both couples on either side had to switch places with their other half, we were dying, oh well, we’re having fun

After the show, we stood out side for a second to see the actors come by.  I wasn’t expecting much and then all of a sudden I found myself pushed up to the front when Zach Braff came out, I gave him my phone and said, “Sorry, my hands are shakey, will you take the picture”, He was nice enough too, even though it turned out blurry, I guess I made him nervous too.  Thomas also got his photo with Zach which I found on some girls Instagram looking up the hashtag “zachbraff”.  It was a pleasant surprise and then we went on our way.  But not before we saw a really attractive cop and I had to take my picture with him tooJ

Reviews of the Shows ( Out of 5 stars)

Jersey Boys: 4 stars, it was cute.  Said the “F” word more than I was expecting, but they were “Jersey Boys”.  I think I would have liked it more if I grew up with their songs, but I was kind of familiar with them.  It definitely made me more interested in their story.

Book of Mormon the Musical: 4 stars.  It said the “F” word a lot too.  It wasn’t as south park ( they have the same writers) like as I thought it was going to be which is good cause I hate south park. I could relate being Mormon and being a missionary and all the inside jokes.  I have my ringtone set as one of their songs called “ I believe” because it gives a great intro into what Mormons believe, and cuts off at just the right time before the song turns blasphemous.  The lead actor, Elder Cunningham, was played by Ben Platt, who was the nerdy magic kid in Pitch Perfect,  he was AMAZING in both parts.  I still don’t get why people who aren’t Mormon like it though.

Newsies:  3 stars

I was disappointed.  The dancing was good, and I was expecting lots of  dancing but the guys were just too gay.  I mean, I know that all of them are probably gay anyways, because their dancing and singing on Broadway, but I just wanted them to butch it up a little bit, not point their toes so much.  I had such a crush on Jack Kelly and his voice was just too high ( he’s actually not gay in real life).  So basically the cast didn’t turn me on like the movie did.  They changed the words to the songs, and added their own of course.  The actor who played the little 9 year old kid was good, it would be hard to be young and on Broadway.  But, yeah, Newsies wasn’t my faveL

Bullets Over Broadway: 4.5 Stars

The songs were fun, there was the right about of raunchiness, it was unexpectaedly comedic, the set and costumes were great and elaborate ( love the 1940’s), and ZACH BRAFF was in it.  SOLD.

Cabaret: 2.5 Stars

So I think I was confused by what would actually be happening in this show, so the poor rating is partially my fault for lack of understanding.  In my mind I was thinking Cabaret was more like burlesque, sexy and upbeat, with songs and dancing.  When in reality it was a tragic story with drama and death.  It had some pretty heavy themes, there was an abortion and then a bunch of people died in a concentration camp at the end.  Not upbeat.  Michelle Williams was the leading lady.  She's a cute girl, but the way she talked sounded like a trembling old lady so it wasn't that great.  Emma Stone is replacing her, so that should be interesting.  Alan Cumming was the leading man and did a great job.  I probably won't see it again unless I get free tickets or awesome seats.  The theater was super cool though, it was STUDIO 54!

Kinky Boots: 3 Stars

Again, I was expecting super upbeat, drag show or something.  This also had some heavy themes and long scenes talking about them.  But, the times when there was singing and dancing, it was great.  The costumes were fun, and the leading man who played Lola, was a great actor.  It was a cute show.

Hot Cop outside one of the Shows

That's all I have for now on the Broadway front.  Hopefully, more to come.

Peace and Love Ya'll

Lolo

Here’s the Papers You Requested…..My second as an Executive

So, I met with a Staffing agency at the beginning of August, and after a couple of days they were able to place me as an “Administrative Assistant” at a Large Capital Management and Insurance Company.  After offering me the 2-week gig, the recruiter ask, “ You know photoshop and powerpoint right?” Crap, yeah I know them, I’ve used PP in school and I’ve opened up photoshop before and played with pictures, so I can use that stuff…right? I coolly replied to her, “ Oh, of course, my minor was Digital Media, so I’ve worked with both of the programs multiple  times.”.  A previous recruited I had met with from another agency, told me I was too humble for my qualifications and that I need to sell myself better, even if I’m not an expert at something.  Since she gave me permission, I’ve started to try and “sell” myself a little better. ( For those of you who are immature, stop giggling when I say “sell myself”, you and I both know it doesn’t mean prostitution).

I showed up to this beautiful 40 story building all owned by the company that I get to work for, for 2 weeks. Their name emblazoned on the wall, the marble floors, and all the security guards were there to greet me.  It took everyone a little while to figure out where I was going before they would let me up into the building ( I guess it gets confusing when you have 40 floors), But I finally arrived at the 9^th floor and shown my desk.  It was messy, and dusty, and there are soooo many papers everywhere, but whatever.  My supervisor who happens to be one of the Vice Presidents over Marketing briefed me on what I would be doing.

HIM:  So, basically what were gonna have you do is open up Illustrator……

ME: (Internally Thinking) whoa whoa whoa, Illustrator, I did not sell my self on Illustrator, WHY, cause I don’t remember how to use it. Crap, how will I fake this. Just keep smiling and nodding, close your eyes a little bit so they don’t look so big, you probably look surprised.

HIM: Fix it in Illustrator, make it look pretty, open it in photoshop flatten the image and then import that into the PowerPoint presentations.  Here’s some instructions, so you can work on that.

ME:  Ok, ya, totally ( sups professional I know).

So, I begin my experimenting in Illustrator with the chart images.  Come to find out, not that bad.  But as I’m cruising through my tasks, every file I open, I’m just waiting for it to be a mess and for me to have to actually do something to it. I finish everything quickly, and spend the rest 6 hours waiting for something to do. The next day is the same thing, I finish my tasks too quickly and just sit there.  I start snooping through the files ( naturally) to try and anticipate what my next assignment will be so I can get started on it early.  I figured out the assignment and then wrote down a list of things that were missing that I needed.

My boss came over to tell me I could begin on a new assignment and then looked at my screen when noticing I was doing it.  I let him know I was finished and gave him a list of missing files that I still needed.  He walked away quickly and came back in about 5 minutes.

HIM:  Here are the papers you requested.

ME: Thank you.

There it was.  My small moment of being a top dog over a Vice President.  For a split second he was working for me ( working for me, working for him, but whatever).  It felt good. 

Then I finished the project and waited for the next.  That’s where I find myself currently , just waiting, and writing to you guys ( or just myself, and probably my mom), and dreaming for the day that I request a lot more papers…..

-Lolo

Shout out to THE Church……Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

#OnSoapBox

I’ve never been one of those people to get up in testimony meeting and bare my testimony about my love for the ward and how I love everyone and its such a great family, blah blah blah, shut up, you don’t mean it.  ( Side note: I’ve never been one to get up and bare my testimony often at all, fear based reasons.)

Anywho, I’m starting to understand why people say that. Last year I made a choice on how active I wanted to be in church.  Did I just want to go to sacrament when it was convenient and I wasn’t too tired? Or did I want to really try and embrace the whole shebang?  I also had to make a decision on where I found my happiness, living a more party on lifestyle? or an FHE lifestyle?  I was content with my friends, we did fun things, I didn’t need anymore  friends.  But if I chose the FHE lifestyle I was going to have to really make friends with the Peter Priesthoods and Molly Mormons and I wasn’t ready for that.  One day, a girl from my ward, who I happened to know from my mission, reached out and invited me and another fellow missionary to dinner.  I knew it was a way of fellowshipping, but it didn’t seem to fake seeing as I knew these girls from the mission and we were already “ friends”.  We had a great dinner, and it really came at a great time for me because I was really in need of some girl time and to vent about the usual girl problems, so I was grateful for that. 

It made going to church easier being able to have a couple of girl I was comfortable with being awkward and following around church until I could get on my own two fit and stand alone.  It made all the difference.  I made a scary decision....GULP…to try out the FHE lifestyle…BIG GULP.  It started off getting to know my missionary sisters better and built up from there, as we shared each others lives and friends.  I was trying to immerse myself fully in church activities, pushing the barriers of my comfort zone.

I had the introductory Bishops interview….I didn’t hold anything back, if I was going to be all in then the Bishop needed to be aware of all my issues and my fear to pray in public, and give talks etc. ( But you were a missionary?  Yeah, I know, its still hard, I can’t help it, panic attacks ensue).  Then I was called in to the Bishops office again and given a calling!  A real  big girl calling, to be a Relief Society teacher…another BIG GULP.  I accepted hesitantly with the idea that I would only be teaching once like every other month ( NOT TRUE, that did not happen, it was all the time.)

I continued to hang out with “my girls” and getting to know them, going to activities and being awkward or even bored together.  Then we started incorporating hanging out with other people from our ward with trying out little game nights and what not.  Before long we had good group of friends from the ward who we would hang out with on a regular basis.  We had almost weekly bon fires and were just chill and silly together.  I started going to other little activities that people would host through out the week like girls movie night, or crepe night, FHE etc.  Slowly integrating myself into the ward. Then it happened.

Oh no, what happened you asked.  I became a wardie, BIG HUGE GARGANTUAN GULP.  I was a regular at ward and stake choir, I went to ward prayer most Sundays, I texted random members from my ward throughout the week, checked  the ward facebook page to see what was going on or who need help.  It happened, I became a part of the ward.  I found myself genuinely loving everyone, and happy to see them on Sunday, if we didn’t get to hangout during the week.  I found myself looking forward to game nights and movie nights and wanting to make them happen whenever they could.  Being around these awesome people and having fun and knowing that we all have the Gospel in common and that we can go from talking and doing the most ridiculous things to talking and teaching each other about the Gospel at the same time.  It was so comforting. 

I found myself loving my Relief Society sisters and wanting them to be happy.  Although teaching was hard and I usually cried or did something irreverent during one of my lessons, I truly wanted these sisters to be able to take away something that help them realize their worth in this world and in the ward.  Seeing the  Relief Society President, have so much  love and concern for all the sisters was inspiring, and it was completely genuine love, I know this cause she one of my besties and she told me so.

I found myself understanding why people get up and bare their testimonies about their wards being like families and how they love “ each and every one of you” in their wards.  When I was getting ready to leave for my adventure in NYC, I found that I was having these very same thoughts.  I was going to miss my ward family.

THEN

I moved.

I was nervous that I was going to have to do all the awkward ward immersion stuff all over again to try and have a new ward family while I was in NYC.  Not looking forward to starting the process over, and throwing myself into it.  But now I knew I was at least capable of making it work.  I was just hoping that my new ward would make it easy.  My first Sunday I went to the wrong ward but didn’t know it until later.  I wasn’t feeling it in this ward and that made me even more nervous, so when I found out I was in the wrong one I was relieved. 

I finally made it to the right one, almost an hour away from my Lower East Side dwelling all the way to 87^th street.  I soon as I was there I felt immediate comfort.  I met a senior couple who was also brand new to their mission and took me under their wing.  The Sisters were so friendly and not fake (Phew), not a whole lot of guys, but they seem nice.  I immediately started receiving leads for work from the sisters, that would later result in a well-paying 2-week temp job ( hopefully more to come).  Everyone is either in the same boat or has been in the same boat and is so willing and wanted to help you navigate NYC living. 

Even though I have to get up at the crack of dawn on Sunday to make it to 9am church (I don’t know why they do that to the YSA ward, there are only 2 other wards in the building, but whatever).  I always leave feeling uplifted and loved.  I know that this is hard, but I also know that Heavenly Father is blessing me as I reach out of my comfort zone to be who he knows I can be.  I’m so thankful that I have finally begun to understand the effect of Ward Families and that they are real.  These two wards have ruined me for the rest of my life, because I am going to expect every ward I’m in to be this great, which probably won’t happen, and that’s ok.  For now I am thankful that Heavenly Father is watching over me through his earthly angels in the form of ward families.  I hope to stay strong, and remember the blessings that I have received when I do the right things and have my eye single to the glory of God.  It makes the trials a lot easier to bare.  I love this Gospel and the knowledge and hope it brings even though it can be difficult sometimes. I love my friends who have been good examples to me and helped me when I almost wandered too far.  I love my Savior and know that he knows ME and what I NEED. 

I love YOU.

-Lolo

#OffSoapBox

Look for acts of kindness….Do acts of kindness

I’ve been looking for something that I can do anywhere without spending any money.  I decided to be more aware of my surroundings and look for acts of kindness.  I don’t listen to music as I explore NYC, but this requires you to unplug from technology to benefit from it most.  I really need to start brining a notepad a long to jot down thoughts so that I can remember the things I see. 

One of the things that I can do while looking for ways to help other is just being nice to the bus drivers.  I’ve noticed that they appreciate a “hello” so much.  I heard a bus driver tell one lady today that she could get on the bus early because she was nice to him and treated him as a actual person.  I bet it would get pretty annoying stopping for so many people all day and not hearing any kind words from them.  So, I am determined to be extra kind to my bus drivers, even when they’re grumpy.

I was on the bus, going my usual route to Union Square, when this stupid SUV decided to try and sneak pass the bus through a tiny little street with a car on the other side.  This girl was in trouble, she was right out my window and I was just watching her shaking my head and her stupidity that she thought she could get through.  I was also watching other people watch her, thinking the same thing.  Everyone just waiting to see the consequence of her choice and who’s vehicle was it going to affect.   She barely squeezed by the time warner truck when she reached a mini, this was gonna be the one she scratched for sure.  Then this tough looking guy, appeared right in front of the mini and flipped the drivers side door mirror in.  He proceeded to guide the lady through the tight squeeze and she got through with barely an inch to spare.  The lady stopped and shook hands with the guy who helped her before going on her way.  Everyone just went on as normal.  Beautiful act of kindness, I think it was the guys car too, I would have been freaking out.

Then a few stops later, we came to an intersection.  There was a blind lady with her walking stick standing at the curb waiting for the light to change so she could cross.  I was thinking to myself, “ how blind is she really if she can see the light change and the walking man come on”.  She couldn’t.  As the light changed a bunch of people started crossing and she just stood there.  I felt so bad, I wish I could be next to her to let her know it had changed.  But, never fear, a good pedestrian was near.  A disheveled looking man ( there are lots of disheveled looking people in NYC, I am one of them.) came up to her and offered to help her across.  He walked her across safely, and then turned around and walked back.  My first thought was, “ phew, I’m so glad someone helped her”.  My second was, “wow, that was nice of the man to take her across even though he wasn’t going that way.  He must work at that fruit cart on the corner.”  I watched the man walk as the bus turned.  He passed the fruit cart, he passed the next shop, and the next, and the next.  Holy crap where did this guy come from. Then finally he stopped, and I watched him get into a super nice Mercedes SUV! WHAT.  I don’t know how long the poor blind lady had been standing there, but apparently enough time for the rich man to observe and see a need and walk quite a ways to help her.  This made me smile so big, I kind of giggled out loud a little bit.  It was awesome. 

I was walking back from visiting the MET and I saw a couple walking ahead of me and the girl was wearing a shirt that said, “ AGGIES” on the back.  I was like “Aggies?, You guys from Utah?”  They were a little taken a back for a second.  But loosened up after I said I was from Provo.  They had just got in last night and didn’t even know how to travel around the city with a Metro card.  I walked with them for a half mile dishing out all the information and tips that I could.  They were so grateful and I was so excited that I could help them.  Their names were Karli and Paul from Idaho, I wish I would have got there number, we probably could have had fun.  Oh Well.  I was trying to pay the kindness forward.

Homeless for a day.... Well 15 mins...and not claiming to be homeless

The job hunt has been rough out here in the Big Apple. I don’t have money to go out and do touristy things and what not, but I also don’t want to just sit and not take advantage of this amazing city. So, I thought I’d try an old past time of people down and out on their luck: Panhandling!  Yep, you heard me correctly, Panhandling, begging for money, call it what you will, but I thought I’d try it. I even looked up tips on How to panhandle I thought that this would be a interesting social experiment and give me a better look into the lives of people I see every day.  I had a nice piece of cardboard just laying their waiting to have a begging phrase written.  I wanted to keep things light.  I remembered when I was in Vegas once and I saw a guy with a sign that said, “ I won’t lie, its for beer”, or something like that.  I thought it was funny and honest.  He let me take a picture of him and I gave him a dollar.  So I wanted to be light hearted as well.  I wasn’t pretending to be homeless, I’m a bad liar, so I stuck to a believable truth. I also checked out a website for some ideas.(75 panhandling signs)  I wrote : “Struggling. Need an iphone, car, boyfriend.  I have a map if you need directions. Help”

Once the sign was written, I put it in a reusable bag I would tote around and keep my purse in and such and I was ready to go.  My hair is frizzier here (if you can believe it) so didn’t have to do much to that to show I was struggling.  I had a rip in my pants ( super mad cause they are Zella workout pants for Nordstrom), I had a hat for people to put money in, and my somewhat faded MTV shirt ( if you know me at all you’ve seen me wear it a thousand times.)

I went to Grand Central Station and started looking for “ my spot”, the golden spot where I would get the most traffic without getting ran over.  I looked for a church, but decided against it.  It seemed to be kind of a slow day in the touristy areas.  I went over to Times Square and saw the naked cowboy and decided to plop kinda by him.  There was a recycling bin and a phone booth next to the curb so I plopped down there.  I was hoping that there wasn’t going to be any stray taxis behind me to take me out on the curb.  Here we go, I’m going to sit her for the next hour. …(which really turned into 15 minutes, I’ll get to that later.)

I sat down, and immediately I was humiliated.  Why was everyone looking at me,” oh yeah, I ‘m sitting down on the gross ground and have a sign for them to read”.  This is so awkward.  I can look at people in the eye, so I’ll just stare at their shoes.  I don’t even know what I look like to them.  I get this really pathetic and tired look on my face to make it seem more real, which was how I felt so that wasn’t hard.  I can see people slowing down, and stopping to read my sign.  I get kind of excited when I few people use the recycling bin, thinking they’ll stop for me too, then I get nervous again.  Still looking at just peoples feet, I see one lady come over and drop 60cents on my sign.  I put it in my hat, I’m invigorated.  I’m on a roll, I’m so excited now.  This is what it feels like when people actually stop to give you money, I am flooded with gratitude.  Then a few minutes after that a nice looking business man comes over and gives me a fresh piece of pizza all nicely wrapped and in a white bag.  I say thank you and get a big smile on my face.  I take a peek at the pizza before sticking it in my reusable bag for later.  It looks great, untouched, totally edible.  There I go again, getting excited, its actually happening, I’m doing it, I’m panhandling successfully.  Then I get nervous again and go back to watching people feet come within inches of my face. 

A young man who works for a tourist company handing out flyers comes up to me.  He asks me where I’m from, and tells me how its not a good place to be on the street out here ( in NYC), he wishes me luck and walks away.  Then another scrawny young man comes up to me, probably about 19, and reads my sign ( for a long time by the way, it’s a short sign.).  He starts laughing, points at my sign and is like, I can kinda help you get those things.  He starts telling me about a café that is hiring up the street, and how he likes to help people in the same situation he’s in.  He also tells me I need God, not a boyfriend, and that God will put a boyfriend in my place.  I just told him I was trying to keep things light and what not.  He just laughs at me, gives me his recommendation, and shakes my hand goodbye.  The I see a lady with Time Square security gear on and I panic.  I look up at her and say, “do I need to leave?”.  She doesn’t answer my question but sticks a piece of paper in front of my face, at first I thought it was a ticket, but I hadn’t cause problems or anything so it couldn’t be that.  Then I thought it was a lottery ticket and was thinking, “Hell yeah”.  But it was a pamphlet about all the resources in the city that can help me.  If I need food, clothes, shelter, whatever someone’s  needs are. 

She asked me where I was from, how long I’d been here, etc. ( again I wasn’t lying about anything).  As I was talking to her, two policemen started to walk up, I looked at her with panic and she just shrugged.  They didn’t even look me in the eye or anything but said, “you gotta move”.  I just got up immediately.  The Security lady told me her name was Marguerite and wished me good luck.  Then I got the heck out of there, I hate the feeling of being in trouble. 

I walked a few blocks before I reminded myself to snap out of character, stop looking so sad, this is not your life.  After a few blocks, I knew that no one would recognize me as the panhandler on the street, so I pulled out my phone to check the time.  Holy crap, I was only sitting there for 15 minutes, and experienced so many emotions.

First of all, why didn’t I just move to a new spot until my hour was up?  Well, even though I was doing this with the sincerest of hearts and not trying to take advantage of anyone, as I really do need the money, I was afraid that someone would give change to me, and then when they went around the corner and saw someone else like me, they wouldn’t give.  I’d gotten what I needed from the experience and a bit more. 

I was humbled at the treatment I received from the people around me.  I was proud to be on this earth with them.  There are good people out there, and you literally cross pass with amazing people everyday.  Sometimes it just take staring at their shoes  as they walk by to notice them.  I was filled with gratitude.  I had never been so happy to receive 60 cents, or a slice of pizza from a stranger, or the attempt at a young man trying to give me advice.  I don’t think that it was the items that filled me with gratitude but what they represented.  They represented someone care for ME, in that moment.  They represented someone else taking time out of their busy lives to look up from their phone and notice the surrounding around them and find someone they could help.  They represented service and charity, knowing that they would never see me again and that I would never be able to give them anything back, and yet, they served me.  They represented children of God.  Without knowing it they were disciples of Jesus Christ and by helping me they were glorifying their God in Heaven.   Man was I grateful.

Does this mean that I’ll shell out money for every beggar on the street.  Probably not, although I did give someone the 60 cents that I was given.  But, I will look at them differently, as people just wanting to know that they are a child of God and that they are loved.  I don’t have money to give them, but I can wish them a nice day, or say a silent prayer for them. 

I was so thankful to finally get home and put my feet up.  I’m so thankful for my darling cousin/big sister Ali and her hunk of a Fiancé Lonny, for letting me have a beautiful place to sleep at night in this Big City, so that I am able to go out and have experiences like this.

As for that slice of pizza I was given by the business man.  YUMMY.  I devoured that thing.  I haven’t had any pizza since I’ve gotten here, and what a way to say I’ve had a great slice of a famous New York pie.  I just wish I knew where it came from, I didn’t survey the area after for pizza places, but I should have.  It was soooo yummy.

Signing off for now

Love all ya’ll

Lolo